Strategy #2: Your Quarantine Stress Eating Survival Guide
Practice the Art of Making Tiny Shifts
I learned about this strategy fairly recently from the wonderful Laura Burkett of Real Food Wellness and it is particularly helpful after an episode of stress eating, emotional eating or general overeating.
An Invitation to Go Off the Rails
I know the feeling all too well. Eating because I am stressed or overwhelmed.
And what’s interesting is that it usually isn’t the extra food in my belly that makes me feel crappy. What always makes me feel the worst is the ENERGY behind the eating. Because stress eating isn’t mindful or intentional.
Instead it is often frenzied and charged with emotion. Frustration, restlessness with maybe even a sprinkle of fury. Or it is completely mindless and emotionless. Apathetic, indifferent, almost zombie-like.
The energy behind stress eating is typically either charged with emotion or completely emotionless.
Either way, the residual effect of that energy used to send me into a downward spiral. Well “fuck it” I would say. “I’ve already gotten off track today. I might as well eat whatever the hell I want now”.
And then it would become an invitation to make one unsupportive decision after another. Something carby and starchy for snacks. Pizza for dinner. Paired with a few glasses of wine. Followed by a huge portion of dessert. With one more glass of wine.
I would then try my hardest to clean up the mess that evening by planning a hard workout the next day. I would tell myself that I would go longer – push stronger. Or better yet, I would eat nothing but salad the next day. Game on.
A Different Approach
But what I’ve learned is that you don’t have to wait until the next day to make a shift and feel better. In fact, the very act of waiting can often prolong making the actual shift; and it could wind up being weeks before you feel in charge again.
How many times has tomorrow turned into Monday? Which turned into next week? Which then turned into next month or when this quarantine is over?
Instead of trying to clean up the mess, the very best thing we can do after an episode of stressed or emotionally charged eating is to greet it with compassion. From the understanding and perspective that most overeating stems from the need to feel safe, nurtured, loved and/or secure.
It makes total and complete sense that you would seek security right now. There are so many unknowns. So honor that need for safety.
To put that need for safety and security into context, I will often visualize one of my girls coming to me all out of sorts. Stressed, frazzled and upset. I know that the most important thing I can do for her is wrap my arms around her and tell her that I love her. Not fix it. Not change it. Not give her advice. Just love her.
The more we can be that loving and compassionate parent for ourselves, the quicker we can shift.
Stress eating is usually an indication that you are seeking comfort and security too. The knowing that things will be okay and that you are loved. And the most beautiful thing is that stress eating becomes an opportunity to give yourself these very things.
You might wonder “But how on earth do I do that?”
Here’s an exercise I personally use and one I also give to clients who struggle with stress eating:
Imagine that someone you love comes to you stressed, frustrated and upset. Maybe it’s your child or a really good friend. Maybe the person is in the exact same situation as you. Whatever the case may be, it’s someone and a situation that makes your heart soften and you want to help make this person feel better.
Think about what loving words you would say. What words would you choose to assure this person that he/she is loved and that everything will be okay?
Now repeat those words but direct them toward yourself. Because those are likely the VERY things that you need to hear.
After some nurturing self-talk, ask yourself “what can I do that will make me feel better right now?”
Then go do that thing.
It’s that simple. The nurturing self-talk and the feel-better action you take will shift your attention and your energy. And it will give you the space you need to see that a shift in perspective and self-care can happen within the very same day. Even within the same hour.
The bottom line is that the more we can be that loving and compassionate parent for ourselves, the quicker we can shift. We recognize the purpose. We honor the true need. And then we move on.
The more compassion and love I give myself around my eating behaviors, the less power they have over me. Honor the act of stress eating. It is here to serve you and there is always a positive intent. And remember to offer yourself gentle, loving kindness - because that, my friend, is always where it’s at!
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